WOW. I cannot believe it’s already mid-October and there’s just a lot of stuff that’s on my plate… and I have to eat it all.
First, the fun stuff.
As you know, I just got back from the Lupe Fiasco concert last week. It was a great show and he did all the songs I liked… and more. This coming Saturday, I will get to see Chris Brown. I have been a Brown fan since Day 1. He makes great music and is a tremendous dancer. He is a great artist.
Of course, people want to remember him from his acts outside of his music. The Rihanna incident. The chair throwing incident. He’s a crazy guy. But I have always wanted to see him perform. I heard his concerts are wild, so let’s see how I handle all that.
And several days later, I will be on my way to San Francisco to see The Game perform. He has been one of my favorite rappers since he debuted in 2004. I always thought he was the most talented member of G-Unit and now I get to see him perform. His newest album is starting to grow on me, but I still feel his best work was his early stuff.
He has this great fiery passion and brings a great West Coast flavor. I hope that this show will be off the chain.
Being back in San Jose has been nice as I have been hanging out with friends a lot more. There are still friends that I haven’t see yet and I hope that I can make the time to do so. I am very thankful to have this time to be back in San Jose.
But the reason why I am here in San Jose is because of work and I am still trying to figure out what I want to do with it. I am enjoying everything I am doing. I am talking with players every day, talking with coaches. I am in the middle of it all, going to home games. I am writing a lot and making OK money.
But the money is something that’s bothering me. I can’t last with this kind of money and I feel that I can do so much more in my career. I like what I am doing, but it’s only a minor thrill. It doesn’t give me that lasting feel.
Don’t get me wrong, I am living the dream. Tons of people would kill to have my job. And I am very grateful. But I am still young and I feel that I can venture out and do so much more. I don’t want my life to be just around the 49ers. Heck, I can branch out and do something that has nothing to do with sports and writing.
I’m still trying to figure out if this is where I am supposed go. Is this what God has in store for me. What I have learned is that I am more than just a sports guy. I hate being viewed as only a sports guy. I am much more than that. I just want something that allows me to interact with people and just make some kind of impact in life.
I am sure that whatever I end up doing, that I will be able to communicate, travel and make some difference in some people’s lives. I think at the end of this season, I am seriously considering to leave what I have completely. I hope that a job opportunity opens up by the time the season ends. If not, I’ll once again be looking for a new job.
I guess I am in a whirlpool of wondering. That’s been me since I graduated. I still want to figure out what is next for me. I am not tied down, I can move anywhere, and more importantly, I am happy to take anything that allows me to be happy.
The biggest fear from all this is that I find something but it doesn’t end up being the right thing. But that’s life.
So this month is going to be a lot more of me trying to enjoy some shows, figure out my career and also fight that lame speeding ticket I got last month. I’m beating that thing!