Go celebrate! I wouldn’t mind joining you!
Preface: This was something that had been stirring in my heart for the past couple weeks. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but I felt that I needed to write this post… or at least put it out there.
I am not actually gay. But having grown up in the Bay Area, having gay friends and really observing as an outsider, I wanted to share my thoughts on it. I haven’t been vocal about it in the past and part of it came because I wasn’t sure what to say. Now after some thinking, praying and reflection, I feel that at some level, I think I get it.
I probably will get some negative responses to this and that’s fine with me. I might get positive ones too. This message comes from the heart and I write this out of love.
When I first even got a glimpse or an idea of what being gay might be, I was a kid. I didn’t know what it meant really. I just thought it was some kind of term you used to say someone was different. I distinctly remember calling Michael Jackson gay because he was different. I don’t think it was necessarily the fact that he was very pale and sounded like a woman to me, but I just felt that being gay just meant you were different. I might have used it as an insult like this as a kid, but I never really believed it. I had no problem with it, really. It didn’t affect me, so it wasn’t my problem.
That mentality has stuck with me my entire life. I didn’t see it affecting my life, so I didn’t really deal with it. (When Prop 8 came around, I didn’t speak out for or against it. I don’t even remember if I voted.) Despite the fact that I grew up in the Bay Area, went to school with gays, it never really meant anything to me. Maybe because I was used to it. Maybe because I was never scolded or told how to feel about it. It wasn’t my life, so I just let it be.
This will be the first ever Thanksgiving for me where I won’t be with family. I have work today. But I think the fact that I am not with my family today is a good reminder of the things I am thankful for. I am not at home because of my job. This job is something that I should not have. So very few people in my line of work would be in this position.
But thank God that I got my 49ers gig out of college and three years of working my ass off got me here. Now I am doing something I am really good at and I am enjoying it.
It’s a tough thing too moving to LA not knowing anyone, but I have found a decent place to live and the surrounding is pretty nice. More importantly, a good church community. Things aren’t easy now, but I can’t complain. I got it good.
What’s this? Yes, that’s me and my friend Chris doing the Bernie when he came to visit me last weekend. It was an idea that came up last month and today we finally put it into action.
But how did this all come to be? Let me take you down my weekend adventure in which I also ate a lot of good food and went to Anaheim to represent the A’s.
I will be returning to the Bay Area this weekend because I miss home. But it won’t be a long stay and I will try to get as much done in that time. I’ll be in the East Bay the entire time and I wish I could see everyone. But since I know that won’t happen, I’ll just do the best I can.
If anyone wants to come by say hi, I’ll be around various places. Here’s my itinerary of my weekend.
That was my tweet after I woke up at 2AM to watch the A’s play their game in Japan. Man, am I crazy about sports or what? My sleep schedule is messed up because of this but I don’t regret it.
But recently, I started to wonder how much of me is about sports. My profession is about sports. Most of my expertise on things is sport. Heck, people always go to me about sports. I love it, but I wonder if it’s so much a part of me that I am viewed as only that.
This kind of thinking started when this past 49ers season started when I no longer started to see myself as a 49ers fan. I in fact was started to get disgusted with obsessive fans. These people make their lives surround around their team and it’s kind of hard to watch. Do people view me as that?
I'm going to two more concerts this month. One to see Chris Brown. The other to see The Game.
WOW. I cannot believe it’s already mid-October and there’s just a lot of stuff that’s on my plate… and I have to eat it all.
First, the fun stuff.
As you know, I just got back from the Lupe Fiasco concert last week. It was a great show and he did all the songs I liked… and more. This coming Saturday, I will get to see Chris Brown. I have been a Brown fan since Day 1. He makes great music and is a tremendous dancer. He is a great artist.
Of course, people want to remember him from his acts outside of his music. The Rihanna incident. The chair throwing incident. He’s a crazy guy. But I have always wanted to see him perform. I heard his concerts are wild, so let’s see how I handle all that.